They're stunned.įrank: I can't believe Charlie is really gone. Here's the excerpt:ĭee and Frank sit talking.
#Script it always sunny in philadelphia mac
#always #sunnyĪ post shared by RobMcElhenney on at 5:16pm PDTįully aware of this, Day and McElhenney concocted a wild plot line: Charlie Kelly is "gone" (possibly dead) and Mac and Dennis are now a gay couple. I love the whole pigeon thing as a set up for Charlie going to college btw.īut I'd try and keep the focus on conflict of the gang being annoyed at Charlie, Charlie trying to sound smart and failing, and then have your great title card gag as that's the strongest part of the scene.Always writing. I think it's a great premise and I definitely want to read more if I have time because Charlie going to college sounds hilarious. That's a common thing in sunny anyway.Īnyway sorry for sounding so negative even though I've only read one scene lol. And then maybe Dennis says the same joke or says about Charlie being unable to 'hatch' a plan in like a cheesy pun kind of way and then everyone laughs. You'd probably have to up the insanity of it though as he'd be pissed.Īlso reading the part where Dee says 'literally shit' you could make that into her delivering a terrible joke and no one laughs. This could be the spilled milk that makes Dennis go into insane monologue mode at the end possibly. Which maybe leads to him wanting to prove him wrong and say he wants to go to college I don't know (I haven't read after the opener though so maybe your motivation for charlie wanting to go to college is there).Īlso I think it's funnier if they don't really mention the bucket and Charlie just sort of casually picks it up and is nonchalantly being gross with it or spills some on Dennis or dees shoes.
Focus it around Charlie trying to be smart and Dennis destroying him for it. Keep Charlie trying to be lawyer talky and Dennis putting him down - that's good conflict.īut I'd cut down on Mac/Dee talking about what's going on - because it seems like the only reason it's in there is for you to include them. But the rest of it isn't super funny (which is fine - sunny is all about set up and then gets hilarious later so don't worry about it not being hilarious yet.)īuttt if you would like it to be more funny I recommend the following: as your main gag is the title card I would cut down on anything that isn't like showing that they were out killing pidgeons and get straight to the gag.
I liked the quid-pro-crow joke though that sounds like something Charlie would say for sure.Īnyway, the main gag of the opening is a classic title card gag which I really liked. Charlie frank and Dee are a lot harder to do so I'm not going to critique that because their voice isn't as distinct and I'd definitely struggle to nail it. And your voices of Dennis and mac are pretty on point. I like the idea - I can definitely see it being an episode. I might read the rest later if I have time in which case I'll comment again. Hey, I'm a massive fan of Sunny (I've watched every episode and normally re-watch an episode a day whilst I eat lunch) and was thinking about writing a Sunny spec myself.Īnyways, I've only read the the opening and I'm not sure if I'll have time to read more as my train is arriving soon.
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